Dear Lorna,
Kumusta? It has been a long time. I learned about the internal struggle you are going through. Much as you want to dedicate 100% of your time to organising the Lumad women and their communitities you finding difficult balancing your work and your family. I understand that leaving your 3-year old daughter for a week or more is not easy.
You know Lorna, I may have been able to overcome what you are going through. But same thing, it was a struggle of making it work. I believed it worked because I had the determination and hope to make it work. Equally, I am happy that I had the support from my husband and my family to keep doing what I have invested my commitment. However, there are always point in our lives where we become weak. I know I have reached that tip when I no longer can extend my support to my colleagues. In those moments, I become self-centered, just want to think about myself and my family. At those points, I don’t want to reach out to anyone. But I also realised that those are the times that we need to pause, feel and know what your body is telling you. It is a time to go into a self-retrospection and ask myself what made me tired and why my hope level is going down. Do I still believe in what I am doing? When I am able to answer these questions, then I know that I only have to gain my bearing and strength. The only way I am able to do this is to keep my feet on the ground, among struggling women whose lives and situation are far worse, however are hopeful that with collective actions, they see the light. Self-care is caring for others, caring for you. Take time to pause, step back and move forward.
Love Ninang